Jaipur (speak softly and carry a big stick)

I must admit that I didn't fully understand the meaning of Teddy Roosevelt's famous advice the first time I read it in a textbook in grade school, but I can say that it carries new meaning for me now. In fact, I've chosen to take his advice quite literally and, after several weeks of searching, purchased a large walking stick to accompany me through our travels (Of course, I have always striven to speak softly). There are so many reasons why it is useful: to deter pickpockets, to keep away monkeys that are interested in our things, for walking, to reach underneath the bed when something falls there, to ward off overenthusiastic touts and beggars, to scare away rats and other street animals that get too close, and many more. All of these are good reasons, but by far the most compelling to me is all the attention Heather attracts from the men in this part of the world.

She is both beautiful and blonde which is often enough to make the men in our vicinity just stop and stare at her. If we stay in one place too long the men will begin to collect until there is a large group standing and staring at her which only encourages more to do the same. Men will often ask to have their picture with her which we no longer allow because some are not respectful and will put their arm around her or things like this. This behavior is especially inappropriate here, where even I cannot put my arm around Heather without it being an excessive public display of affection. Some men are not so well mannered to ask and will just snap photos of her in the street. A few have even been bold enough to jump in front of us, pull out their camera, and take her picture. If she leaves my sight, even for a moment, men start 'bumping' into her or attempt to engage her in conversation.

All of this is bad enough during the day, but if we're walking around at night on poorly lit streets we really don't want that kind of attention. After I started carrying the stick, there was a noticeable improvement in our situation. We still have the same sort of problems, but they are much less frequent. Something we didn't expect, however, is that people now pay a great deal of attention to me!

Now people stop and stare at me and the make comments to each other about me. We've learned that there are many cultural reasons for this. We've seen other people in India with sticks like mine, but they fall into only three categories. Old men who really need help walking, sadhus (holy men), and police officers. I clearly do not fall into any of these categories, but the assumption is that since I do not need this stick to walk or for religious purposes, I use it for hitting people. In fact, the man I bought it from asked me if it was for Heather (I'm really not sure he was joking).

The reactions we've gotten are numerous. Several times a day people ask me "What is that for?" with worry visible in their eyes. Others have assured me that India is a safe place to travel. Some hold their fist in the air with a flexed arm and say "Good bamboo!" Some tell me I look like Ali Baba (I really don't understand this one, but an Indian told me he was a maharaja). I've also learned that a bamboo stick like mine is associated with someone who lives in a small village and is unsophisticated.

I really can't say I'm fond of all the attention, but the positive aspect is that everyone is looking and talking about me instead of Heather. Although I don't like others to think that I just go around hitting people, the stick clearly commands respect. We walked by a group of guys who were giggling and staring at us and I just stared back without smiling. After a short moment they began to show more respect. While I have mixed feelings about people's reactions, so far it has been a net positive for us and I'll keep the stick for the foreseeable future. One final note about the stick - we were in a cafe this morning and I saw a portrait of Gandhi carrying a bamboo stick exactly like mine. It's a shame people don't make that association instead, ah well.

My hour's up, I'll write about Jaipur next time!